I just wanna…
pee. I am so stressed out about this retention issue. I am afraid to wake up tomorrow in pain, unable to pee. I can’t sleep. I tried to ease my mind by looking up some info on my Neurogenic Bladder on the internet and it has only made matters worse. I know better. Now I have the images of past foley experiences running circles in my mind. Imagining self cathing is not helping my insomnia. How strange is it to be so exhausted but you can’t sleep?
I have been so tired this week from the Tysabri, it has caused some not so good fluctuations in my blood pressure which already drops too low. I am dizzy and clammy and shaky and t-i-r-e-d. So I am whining here and I know it. I feel like a baby actually, maybe even a 3 year old kicking and screaming on the floor. I don’t want to be going through this crap. I am sick of Dr appointments, hospitals and meds. I want a break from this MS, Spine and Body of mine. I could take a break but where would that leave me. No, I know I have to deal with this bladder of mine, and if my spine is a culprit, it has to be dealt with. Ignoring it will not make it better.
Waa…waa.waaa.waa.waaaaaaaah! Here my crying yet? Oh what I would give for a blankie and a good snuggle right now. I am ok, I really am, I just feel a little beaten down physically which is draining my mental & emotional facilities too. I think I am going to try to do my Dahn Yoga DVD For MS tomorrow if I am up to it. Maybe a little of that and a cup of tea will do me a world of good.
This physical medicine doc I used to have, who never gave up on me, told me at my very first visit with him “If you were a horse they’d shoot you.”
Yup. That pretty much sums up how I feel right now.
Filed under: Medication, feelings, health, multiple sclerosis, photography | Tagged: bladder retention, Insomnia, ISC, ms, Neurogenic bladder
If you were a horse they’d SHOOT you? And this was a fave Dr.?? OK.
Well, you will have to deal with the pee situation, just do it fast because thinking about it will drive you crazy. Don’t forget you can ask for 2nd opinions, some Solumedrol might help, this is a comon MS symptom, but a serious one. You are not being a baby. MS is scary business. I still haven’t gotten over my PARTNER tossing out my blue blankey. I waaa with you. Whatever happens it won’t be as bad as your imagination and the Internet can dream.
Thanks for the kindness. I see the Urologist tomorrow so we wwill see. He was a great dr and funny too. He was a cross between Santa and Jerry Garcia.
Santa and Garcia—LOL Does sound nice.
Ammey,
I’m so relieved to know that I’m not the ONLY one who feels like throwing a temper tantrum or crying into a blankie for cuddles from my mom lately. (Ok, you may not have said those things explicitly, but that’s what I heard.) Let’s hope that the urologist can help get your waterworks flowing as easily as a baby boy during diaper changes.
You are definitely not thre only one. I am looking forward to my mom coming for a visit at the end of May. I am going to enjoy some mommy time. Big girls do cry.
Grown up girls that is.
I am off to my Urology appointment now, so we will see…
Thanks for the laugh.
Waa away. I hope that by the time you read this comment, you have at least one answer. Hopefully you will also have some energy soon. I know that when the fatigue is worst, I’m at my lowest.
By the way…did you intentionally post a picture of your daughter wearing “peedo” instead of “Speedo?” Hilarious!
No, the PEE*DO was not intentional but something told me I needed to use this picture. Good observation…totally hilarious!
It’s May now. Only a matter of time before Mom is there to cradle you. Since MS dx, I’ve had a few occasions on which I laid my head in my mother’s lap and she gently stroked through my hair. It’s unbelievable how glorious and reassuring that can be. Especially since my mother wasn’t a touchy-feeling type of Mom when I was growing up. A Mom’s touch is unique.